9:43 - Prepare yourselves . . .
9:53 - Questions to think about this ep: 1) Does Justin Bobby boot black tar heroin or is he more of a painkiller guy? 2) If Spencer leaves the apartment in a rage, does he a) get hit by a car on the way out or b) end up sleeping with a transvestite hooker? 3) Does Spencer's Sister enjoy a lesbian tryst with her enemy Lauren a la "Showgirls"?
10:01 - As the theme music echoes through the N.A.M. cave, fist-pumping has reached a crescendo . . .
10:02 - Question: what will Whitney dress up as for the Halloween party? Hopefully, as a N.A.W.
10:04 - Trouble in paradise for Heidi and Spencer? Obviously, Heidi noticed a N.A.M. around town . . .
10:05 - N.A.M. sighting at the Halloween party. Observe Wolfman wearing all flannel.
10:06 - Brody's shaved head. Closer to N.A.M. status? Debate amongst yourselves.
10:07 - Guy dressed up as a sailor with lip ring? What could possibly go wrong . . .
10:07 - Brody's decision to leave Lauren, one of the most perfect human beings on earth, at a party calls into question his new-found NAMness with shaved head and scraggly facial hair.
10:12 - Lauren seems close to tears. Fuck Brody.
10:13 - When confronted about previously leaving the apartment, Spencer replies: "That's your opinion." No Spencer, the N.A.M. witnessed you leave. A N.A.M. frowns on someone disrespecting his intelligence.
10:15 - Sailor with lip ring takes out Audrina, girl with no upper lip. The N.A.M. wonders if Audrina thinks the Sailor is flaunting the existence of his lips.
10:16 - "Romantical" has just entered the N.A.M. vocabulary. If it is good enough for Lo, it is good enough for the N.A.M. If any ladies would like to go on a romantical date with the N.A.M., please contact him (newamericanmale@gmail.com).
10:17 - L.C. wants Brody to not want to see other girls, but she does not want to tell him this. The N.A.M. will tell Brody this, if L.C. would like him to. The N.A.M. would then punch Brody in the dome.
10:21 - Good-looking L.A. video montage accompanied by uplifting music. The N.A.M. approves.
10:22 - The ridiculous blue hat makes it seem like Audrina bumped uglies with said Sailor boy.
10:22 - Justin Bobby apparently did not like to kiss. The N.A.M. does not know whether this indicates a preference for heroin over painkillers.
10:23 - Spencer is reading a book titled "Inside Delta Force". His love for knowledge is unparalleled.
10:24 - Do not mock or raise your voice at Heidi. Do leave. Do never come back.
10:25 - THIS JUST IN: BRODY IS WEARING A FLANNEL.
10:26 - There is much debate in the N.A.M. cave regarding Brody's status as a N.A.M. The atmosphere within the N.A.M. cave is becoming quite contentious.
10:28 - N.A.M.'s don't need to be told. N.A.M.'s do the telling.
10:29 - Enter scenes from next . . .
10:30 - Final thoughts. The N.A.M. has learned several lessons tonight. First, thanks to a discussion about Justin Bobby's showering habits, the N.A.M. may have to reemphasize his hygiene habits. Moreover, there has been some debate over whether use of an iPhone is against what a N.A.M. stands for (See, supra post on Jersey Boys). Brody’s use of the iPhone throws this claim into doubt. Indeed, all like-minded N.A.M.'s should begin a spirited debate over Brody's status as a N.A.M.
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9 comments:
Whitney used to dance at Kuma's
Join the Critical Resistance of this liveblog. As soon as LC says "like" we will be turning our backs simultaneously to our television AND our computers while wearing black hoods! This will show our objection to reality television, Justin Bobby, and NAMs everywhere. Join the Resistance (free cookies!)
Reminder that this action is OK and within the blog code of conduct because you can still HEAR LC talk.
What do you say to all the haters out there that say liveblogging an episode of a show intended for teenage girls is unmanly?
If you could create an ideal lineup of ladies for the Hills from all walks of Reality Television, who would it be and why?
aspiring nam,
Your aspiring nam status has you confused. Don't worry, continue on the 8 fold path and one day you shall see the forest through the trees.
Some individuals have opinions of what they consider "manly," however, lets remind ourselves this forum is not about men, or being manly, but about being N.A.M.ly. LiveBlogging The Hills is possibly the N.A.M.liest activity out there, second only to throwing under par at Ellison Park. So, aspiring nam, to those haters, I say shed your misconceptions of manliness and embrace your true N.A.M.
Is it NAMly to learn to play the guitar if you are over the age of 25?
son,
feel free to exhibit some NAMlyness and ask such questions outside the blogosphere, where the NAM will be happy to set you straight with a swift a mush to the face.
Generally, N.A.M.'s disapprove of guitar-playing. For the most part, guitar players use their musical skills to woo maidens with poorly written acoustic ballads. These maidens could be wooed in a more N.A.M.ly way with the use of some simple magic tricks.
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