Not only must a N.A.M. keep his body fit with monthly bicep exercises and casual frolf course walks, he must also keep his soul fulfilled with the most cutting edge pop-culture reality television shows. Enter "The Hills," a genius MTV creation that has been required N.A.M. viewing the past 2 seasons. To experience the finest of the "The Hills," here are some basic requirements:
1) Sing the opening song if you know the words. If you do not, or if you forget a verse, simply pump your fist in the air to its uplifting beat.
2) Constantly debate who the hottest girl on the show is. Many N.A.M.'s have a hard time choosing as each episode reveals more beautiful facts about each character.
3) Curse the men who date these women at every proper opportunity. N.A.M.'s are very protective of their womens.
4) Always root for another fight between Heidi and LC. If you don't keep a N.A.M.'s attention with high octane drama, he will be forced daydream about the Real World.
5) After watching "Scenes from the next," enjoy an open discussion with fellow N.A.M.'s on what you have just witnessed, and also what next week's episode may bring. N.A.M.'s don't watch reality TV in isolation; sharing the experience with like-minded N.A.M.'s is a must.
Living To Get After It
The New American Male
The New American Male, or N.A.M. for short, is an ideal. It is an attitude, a lifestyle, a how-to manual, a vision, and much more. While many embody some level of NAMness, there is an unquestioned leader. He is our Dalai Lama. This inspirational narrative is written by him and his devoted disciples. Read. Learn. Live.
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Who is the hottest member of the Hills?
My Interests (make them your interests)
*Frolf
*Making it rain
*Flannel
*Native American haberdashery
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6 comments:
L.C. is the hottest cast member. Any respectable N.A.M. knows this. Don't waste time reinventing the wheel. A N.A.M. knows what he likes.
Namtastic - You are taking a very narrow view. But for being infected by Spencer's grossness, Heidi is one of the most beautiful creatures on this planet. Furthermore, Whitney has really stepped up her game this season, as she has become leader of the interns and is back on the dating scene. I think we are all in agreement that Audrina is on the B squad in this discussion. Justin Bobby really takes her down a peg.
While Audrina's lack of an upper lip certainly places her in the B-squad, you fair-weather fans may not remember Whitney's catwalk gig of last season, which definately renders the hottest girl of the Hills. However, scenes from the next show Heidi fuming at Spencer and that anger makes her quite sexy.
New American Woman-
I could not agree with you more. Frankly, I think this debate boils down to two people: Whitney and Heidi. I struggle picking between the two on a weekly basis. Also, can anyone verify Heidi's plastic surgery? My sources tell me she has had her nose, boobs, teeth, and I think something else done. This is unnecessary and unhot, as N.A.M.'s usually prefer natural womens.
I think that there are a lot of mistaken Hills' facts in these comments:
First off, Audrina's status on the B-squad is not due to her lack of an upper lip; rather, it is due to her googly eyes and her inability to not look stoned.
Second, although Justin-Bobby clearly brings Audrina's status down, she and J-Bobby are no longer an item. However, she did not spend much time on the market; she is now dating some sort of extreme sports bmx racer who has a lip ring (pretty sexy, I must say).
Lastly, and most importantly, according to her interview in US Weekly, Heidi had her nose, breasts, and chin done (nothing in there about her teeth). She felt that she needed plastic surgery because she always felt very uncomfortable and flat-chested in bikinis. She claims, however, that Spencer had nothing to do with her decision to go under the knife--he loves her just the way she is.
I stand with L.C. She's an all-natural woman. Plus, she's deep. She once told Heidi: "I forgive you, now I want to forget you." It gave me chills. And it restored my confidence in California's public school system.
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