Bilbo Appreciation Night

Any true New American Male has great American male friends. I, of course, have many, some of whom can provide great insight into the mind of the N.A.M. Tonight I'd like discuss one my personal favorites: Bilbo.

From his stylish rugby style long sleeve shirts, to his boyish side-part, Biblo's avatar captures a sense of style that every aspiring N.A.M. can learn from. He has a killer gaming computer (which mushed my p.o.s. dell just last week) and I respect that. He dominates 8 year-old Japanese kids in Halo, and he can jam out Buckethead on expert level with his eyes closed, I respect these qualities too. But what I respect most is his unparalleled and unexpected episodes of rainmaking. This kid makes it pour.

Lesson: making it rain is essential to becoming a N.A.M. So next time you see Bilbo monkey-pawing unsuspecting strangers in the basement of Rulloff's, I suggest you stop whatever you're doing and pay close attention to his next-level rainmaking abilities.